the dark backward and abyss of time...

So, last night I revisited one of my past lives...

After a fabulous (as usual) and sumptuous meal of mucho sushi with my friend, we went to Barnes & Noble so that she could seek a book on impressionism for her painting class.  My old haunt.  My Dave days.  Strange how 10 years can melt away and everything of that time becomes once again vivid when you're back in the same place, the same smell of the store.  I ran into the manager, whom I've known since that time.  We chatted briefly and I asked if she'd heard any news about anyone.  I'm sure she knew very well I was fishing -- she didn't disappoint.  Told me Dave had been in (she refers to him as "David") with his NEW (ie: second) wife.  She then added that she really doesn't see him or communicate much with him anymore, because he seems to never change.  We all "grew up and he didn't", were her words.  (I don't know how much she really believes that.)  At any rate, I nodded and said I recalled that he was going to get married last I knew -- but she said he didn't end up marrying the one he was last living with (for 6 years!).  Someone else entirely!!! 

So, the history goes, Dave goes out with psycho-girlfriend for 4 years, gets engaged, marries her, divorces her after 6 months, shacks up with girl he met in class for 6 years, moves to Connecticut with her, after years of waiting, she finally gives him ultimatum ("We get engaged and go to couples therapy or I leave you"), he hooks up with someone in his teaching job, leaves previous girlfriend and marries new one.  Really.  Not a joke.

What can I say, but that I just don't get it.  The manager also added that he looked good but "beaten down".  I'm left to ponder what that really means.

She also mentioned another "former" friend is doing great.  Got promoted.  Is living in a great new apartment and his boyfriend has a great new job too.  I used to know those things about him before anyone.  A long time ago, it seems.  I know I shouldn't feel inadequate, but it's just that sense of being left behind.  People move on.  While I don't think I'm in the same place, I don't ever get over the sadness that accompanies reminders of people that you "used to know" well...