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[personal profile] pairika
I've always firmly been an Idealist, but "Realistic" elements have gradually insinuated themselves into my personal philosophy, making it extremely difficult for me. I'm intensely conflicted about love and intimate relationships, infusing them with idealism, but not quite able to have any faith in that idealism manifesting. I want to believe this kind of love is possible for me, but frequent disappointment has seriously bled my formerly bright Idealism into watercolors in many places. I've become both hot AND cold internally. There is no happy medium.  No lukewarm. 
 
Still too idealistic to be a realist.
Not realistic enough to surrender my idealism.

'Tis an unhappy day.  =(
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pairika

November 2008

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