Oct. 12th, 2007

pairika: (Default)

Your Score: Lonely Heart

You are 30% Independent, 40% Idealistic, 70% Intimate, and 100% Indulgent!

 

The Lonely Heart
Dependent, Realistic, Intimate, Indulgent

You are the most misunderstood of hearts, the Lonely Heart. Your desire for love and your want of harmony and intimacy are all very loving qualities. At the same time you are very down-to-earth, which may present a more cold or hard demeanor than you actually possess. Your qualities are all of the quieter types, so you may be shy, leading to difficulties in love, which is hard for you, being so caring as you are. You want love, but your realistic nature may work against these more idealistic desires.

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/4870700699364858717/Heart
pairika: (Default)
I've always firmly been an Idealist, but "Realistic" elements have gradually insinuated themselves into my personal philosophy, making it extremely difficult for me. I'm intensely conflicted about love and intimate relationships, infusing them with idealism, but not quite able to have any faith in that idealism manifesting. I want to believe this kind of love is possible for me, but frequent disappointment has seriously bled my formerly bright Idealism into watercolors in many places. I've become both hot AND cold internally. There is no happy medium.  No lukewarm. 
 
Still too idealistic to be a realist.
Not realistic enough to surrender my idealism.

'Tis an unhappy day.  =(

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pairika

November 2008

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