Jan. 4th, 2007

pairika: (Default)
I'm a recidivist slacker.  I know I should be writing in this journal, especially because I do need some outlet, and as well, don't want to lose touch with the few of my online friends I still have.  But, I suppose I've simply been feeling less "engaged" and wanting less and less to explain, to vent, to go over and over my feelings anymore.  I suppose I'm becoming more and more solipsistic.  More centripetal in a sense.  And it's just easier NOT to rehash.  I just look more and more toward the future.  Fixate on the myriad small anticipations I have.  Many different niches of interest to look forward to at every minute.

I guess it's become so much simpler to look forward to small pleasures, because looking back just evokes past failures.
pairika: (Default)
So... last week I bought 8 pairs of shoes in about 4 days.  DSW has apparently had a "post-holiday" sale for the past few years that I was not aware of.  Since I don't buy shoes for more than $20, I generally head directly to the back of the store for the markdowns.  The discount was 30%-50% on top of what the discount already was.  Hence, lots of good shoes at really great prices.  At some point, I also noticed all the shoes I picked up were casual styles.  My poor sensitive feet -- I never really can bring myself to sacrifice comfort for high fashion.  It's all about the comfort.  And with mostly everything else too.

Comfort first... my personal philosophy.

But I've also got a pretty bad case of shoe envy (along with "style" envy too).  I find myself looking at other peoples' shoes and comparing.  Most of the time, I'm pretty satisfied with my own shoes.  But now and again, I find myself wishing I had the style of some stranger on the train.  Or on the street.  I always imagine it must be pretty effortless for other people.  For me, it's something I have to actually think about.  And I'm never really satisfied with my aptitude.  Guess I've always been tough on myself with regard to my talents, skills, etc.  I tend to discount my own acheivements.  They seem so average when weighed against others'.


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